This is how I say no

When you text me, I take a minute,
Count the days I haven't seen you on my hand. I remind myself that wanting doesn't make it healthy,
and that permanence is a word foreign to you anyway.
 I'll reach for you, with all the lonely in my fingertips,
I miss you, I want to say,
And it would be true
But this is not the you,
this physical manifestation of a connection,
That I need
I miss the laughter,
the comfortable conversations where
We don't need to hear anything but notes
Your symphony to the silence,
There is something
In the way I can say
That all of this empty will go away,
In your strumming I hear the sound,
In your absence it's you that has been found.