Common teen angst

I am trapped, I am fine

I am good, you're wasting my time

Let me decide, let me reside

I can make up my own mind

you have locked me away

somewhere dark and in a cage

In a box I confide for hours to pass the time

you sit out there and wonder why
Do you ever consider what I
need to do, have you ever realized
I need my own life
I need decision making skills
you're not going to be here forever

Maybe, Perhaps

Maybe I'm not here anymore.
maybe I have flown away,
perhaps evarporated into the horizon
as I'd like to some days ,
Maybe catch a plane, a train, and automobile just in search of something that is real,
...take a boat across the atlantic ,
or swim out to sea and
just float there waiting for the serenity
to take over and
pull me under the water
maybe never to return again

you are not hidden

You are not hidden behind leaves,
                 or blades of grass
I see you clearly in my past
through all the pavement, and brick walls confining
the clocks ticking all to do with timing
          tiptoeing around hollowed words
hiding from swallowed curse
         I see the sun shining

I never knew myself

I never knew myself
until I was six feet under, my depression
Desperation a new meaning,
quietly pleading for an ounce of sanity
the worlds edges dulled
and I grew numb
every word I spoke sounded dumb
to me
not grasping any hint of reality
I choked on the smoke of others extremities
never fully suceeding mentally I gave up

Places I leave my soul

I left my soul in my pocket,
behind my door,
on my dirty pilled floor,
next to my make up splattered on my desk
on my old battered toy chest
now my soul I can not find where I left thee
it will forever remain a mystery

I am The Antonym

What did you get out of lying to me?
you got nothing
you lost a friend
I lost nothing; except my willingness to pretend
you did not hurt me
if that was your goal
I knew what to expect
I knew your heart was cold
and stained with the blood of a thousand sin
Tainted with your faux Feelings;
painted with your many lovers
most of which you sent away
not many heed the warning
as many of us fall
there will always be the willing
not matter how many time you cheat
they will come back.
But they are not me and
I call them the hopeless
 I am the antonym

Quatrain:6 7 8 9

I'm not breathing, I'm bound
I'm not screaming, not a sound
This plastic bag around my head
When I already wish I was dead.

quatrain 2 :6 8 9 7

My body is faint, thin, and frail
my skin is broken, damaged, and pale
gazing at the reflection I hate
dumping out my dinner plate

Quatrain one :8 6 6 8

Idolization never works out
filling me with self doubt
corroded to my bones
I'm going to eat a scone

Snowy demise (hopefully better title soon) 12:10 pm 12-1-2010

Snow falls softly
and blankets all
snow falls softly
I hear you call
calling out in pain
slurring every syllable of my name
each gasp turning your blankets red
kneeling beside you
calming you for death
I wish this were my last breath
you stutter words
clinging to life every
spasm as sharp as the knife
peircing your heart
and instead of dying quietly
your last act of life
you muttered a name that wasn't even mine
so I left you there to die
alone.

Only dream 1:50pm 12-1-2010

 I am freely
      Trapped
Bound
     and chained
   here
By an invisible force
 I am gagged
silenced
  and trained
choked by words
        Twisting
   clawing
and struggling
I can not scream